Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule.
When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on "The Ten Commandments."
After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him "I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it."
Preacher: "You mean the commandment 'I shall not steal' changed your mind?"
Old Man: "No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!"