We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper .
Groceries are heavier .
And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I
walked to the corner, and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now,
especially the young ones. They speak in whispers
all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just
keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the
same silent message until they're red in the face!
What do they think I am, a lip reader? I also think
they are much younger than I was at the same age.
On the other hand, people my own age are so much
older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other
day and she has aged so much that she didn't even
recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was
combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I
glanced at my own refection.........Well, REALLY
NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to
be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days!
You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull
onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say
is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way
I see them screech and
swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these
days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a
size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no
one notices that these things no longer fit around
the waist, hips, thighs,and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the
same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I
actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just
who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report
what's going on -- but the telephone company is in
on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone
books in such small type that no one could ever find
a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: We are
under attack!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon
everyone will have to suffer these awful
indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size,
because something has caused my computer's fonts to
be smaller than they once were too!
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