Short One Liners that should make you smile!

  • What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    • Nudity.

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  • What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    • 45 lbs.

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  • What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    • 45 minutes.

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  • How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
    • None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

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  • Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
    • Because those men already have boyfriends.

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  • What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    • After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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  • What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    • The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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  • What do you call a smart blonde?
    • A golden retriever.

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  • Why does the bride always wear white?
    • Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

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  • Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    • Mace will do that to you.

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  • Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
    • Everyone has the same DNA.

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  • Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    • Breasts don't have eyes.

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  • What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
    • A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

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  • What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    • Row row row your boat.

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  • What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
    • A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this.


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